When I first started growing in this pregnancy, I was hurting and sick everyday. My back hurt, my stomach hurt, my hips hurt. Everyday for weeks on end. I had been sick from conception to delivery with every other pregnancy that I’ve had, so in my mind it just comes with the territory of me being pregnant. That’s just something that I’m gonna have to deal with. And I was willing to just deal with it cause that’s just what pregnancy does to me. I’m less than 3 years from a C-section, so my body is trying to adjust to stretching back out, so I’m going to feel those adjustments because that’s just what I’m gonna have to do. So I would move in a way that would prevent pain as much as possible. I would roll over in bed slow, sit down slow, stand up slow, whatever I could do to minimize. And I felt so debilitated. Cause in my mind, I’m just pregnant, that’s all. I can still do what I need to do for my family and my body wasn’t keeping up with my mind. So on top of pain and sick, I was frustrated. I couldn’t even be intimate with my husband like I wanted to because of the pain and the sick. And I know he’s being understanding, but we’re used to being able to move a certain way with each other. So to not be able to, made me feel a way.
Being 37 years old and 5 pregnancy losses (which is another conversation for another day), I have to go to a high risk specialist for this pregnancy. My husband and I are talking to the lady in the office and I’m still thinking that my symptoms are just what they are. But my husband, being the advocate for me that he is, asked about my headaches and what I can take. The lady recommended magnesium, so I asked about the rest of my pain and she said it would work for that too. Of course, he picks some up the same day. I looked it up and the perks seemed to be really dope. So I took it that night and woke up to no pain at all. I mean NONE. I spent the whole first day still trying to be careful how I moved. Even though there was no pain, I was moving like I was still in pain. I had to retrain my brain to move regularly and to be mindful should more pain come.
We have no idea how much we go about our lives with the addition/crutch of pain. Whether that’s physical or emotional pain, we cater the way that we move, speak, and live according to that pain. And God wants to heal us and will heal us, but we’re so used to functioning in pain that we don’t even know how to move without it. Our pain becomes a part of our identity, and when God fixes that thing, we don’t even know who we are.
